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6

F is for Failed Fellatio

Straight

It was a late night after the bar after heavy alcohol consumption and I was heading home with my squeeze of the month. We got back to his place and promptly hopped into bed. We made out for a bit and then he began to give me oral. It was fantastic. (No really, I mean it. It wasn’t the alcohol talking). So we go back to making out for a while and I want to return the favor.

I slowly slid my body down his torso being oh so sexy and nestled nicely between his legs. And for the record, I think I have quite prodigious oral sex skills so this was going to be no trouble at all to get him off and then both of us to sleep.

Cue liquor dick. I swear I was working his dick like a porn star, and oh he was loving it, but he was no where near finishing. By now, not only am I tired from all of the dancing and boozing that happened prior to this, now I’m almost to the point of falling asleep with his dick in my mouth.

…Oh wait, that did happen.

The next thing I remember, he is gently shaking me saying, “Hey, did you fall asleep?”

Umm yup. There I was, my head laid on his inner thigh with his dick in my mouth.

Fail.

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4

Wetter is Better…… Sometimes!

Straight

They always say don’t dip your pen in the company ink but there are exceptions to every rule. I ran this charity event through work and it was a huge hit. A fellow female co-worker got all hot and horny for me as we got to know each other while putting the event together.

A few weeks later after the event we were out at a company event and she totally came on to me. She wasn’t my type but I wasn’t going to turn down the sex. After several drinks and a few hours later we came back to my place. We went right to my room and got it on. Unfortunately her vag stunk like a garbage can. So I just had sex with her, no oral,  we fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning she had inadvertently pissed in my bed. Classy.

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4

She’s a squirter and the others a cheater!

Straight

I was at a buddy’s cottage for the weekend. This place is notorious for sex. Everyone that comes up always hooks up. I have two incidents to share.
First one. My buddy was dating a girl and she brought a friend up to the cottage. She was not bad looking and after a few pints she was stunning. We flirted here and their through out the day but I wasnt running to the bank.

Later in the night we all head down to the fire and had a few more drinks. Everyone ends up taking off to see a group of people that arrived. I instantly start making out with her and take up to the cottage and we got right down to business. She was absolutely fabulous in bed, licked me all over…and the when I was going down on her, without warning, she squirted all over the place. We were on the bottom bunk.

This other girl came up with a friend a few weeks later. I will keep this one short. It was clear she had a boyfriend. Later in the night after a long evening of boozing she went to her room and I went to mine. Suddenly I hear her, with a loud voice, “Are you coming in or what.” The rest is history, we had great sex. The next day her boyfriend joined us at the cottage. He was a real beauty.

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4

So THAT’s why you don’t have Ex-Sex

Straight

I had been broken up with my long-term bf for a couple of months when he asked me to come over to “pick up some mail”. Well the mail was picked up and THEN the mail man delivered, if you catch my drift.

Afterwards, I was laying on my stomach when he inquired about when I got my tattoo. Hm…tattoo? I thought to myself, but I don’t have any tatt– and it was at that moment that I realised that the guy I had had sex with the previous night had written his name with an arrow pointing to my asshole on my butt cheek as a joke!

Needless to say, no more ex-sex for me after that. Although the other guy got to write his name a few more times ….

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3

Threesome from F@#k to FAIL! (FFM)

Group

OMG this just happened last night. My gf and I have been together for a while when we decided to bring a guy in to the picture to spice things up.(oh I am a girl).

Now I don’t want to toot our own horns here but we are hot chicks and we get hit on a lot so finding a willing male participant was not an issue.

We had a few guys in mind but decided on one in particular. We sent him a text and he said he would be over in a flash! Awesome! Gonna as some sausage to the picnic. We told him the door would be open and to let himself in.

My gf and I started getting carried away with each other and but we heard him enter the room. We stopped 69′ing and looked up and invited him to join us. He started taking off his clothes we went back to each other and then all of a sudden he says. “Sorry, I can’t do this” and bolts! Half naked he runs out the door!

Can someone explain what just happened? Is this not every man’s fantasy?????

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