It was glorious. He sucked on my breasts, he bit my lips, and he fisted his hands into my long locks all the while he was dominating me. I couldn’t help the loud moans that escaped my mouth; roommates or not. I pulled myself from his grasp and slowly, teasingly, worked my way down his torso until I reached the promise land.

I began sucking on his impressive member. I teased him, reveling in the gasps that escaped his mouth. He told me that he wanted to 69 and who was I to deny a man who wanted to go down on me.

We repositioned ourselves so that I was on top of him. I picked up my sensuous torture from where I left off; all the while he began his careful tongue assault on my core. While I was sucking on his head, I noticed that something was amiss.

He was using his index finger around my asshole.

No big deal. I’m into ass play. But this didn’t feel like your typical play. He was only sticking the tip of his finger in my hole and something just didn’t feel right. He then began wiping his index finger on the insides of my cheeks and then he pushed them together and said, “There. Now you’re stuck.”

WHAT?!

I arched up, removed his penis from my mouth and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

I was in disbelief. Never in all of my years did I ever think that this would have happened. Of all of the sexual mishaps in the world, this was the furthest away from my imagination.

I had gum in my ass.

Literally there was gum in and around my asshole. I got up and spent the better part of 5 minutes clearing the gum from my asshole and butt cheeks with a wash cloth. When I got back to bed, I was still seething. He tried to hug it out, but I was having no part in it. I didn’t even want to lay next to him. I left the room and proceeded to go cool off on the couch for a few hours. I eventually went back.

I have since calmed down and this is now a funny joke amongst our friends and even at our local bar, I am sweetly known as Sticky Buns. But let it be known, the anus is NOT the place to stow your gum during sex!

Having spent 8 years in a relationship with a man who had a huge d*ick i can honestly say that size is NOT everything. Every time we had sex it was if we were at the race tracks competing to see who could ‘finish’ first. He didn’t know that he was racing, but i spent 8 years mastering my orgasm to happen in 5minutes so that I could make sure and cum before he did. There is nothing worse then having that moment be reduced to a few minutes of rushed enjoyment to ensure a superficial sense of satisfaction.

Eventually it got to the point where i resented even having sex and would tell him to jerk himself off as i was too tired to try and race that night. He was an amazing guy, and the connection, love and intimacy was great. But the sex was just really insufficient and it took me a whole year after leaving him to retrain myself to slow down, take it easy and not try and race my partner to some imaginary finish line. Suffice it to say there was work I had to do even after he was gone to unlearn that! This bad sex didn’t just happen in those moments or for those 8 years, but having only been separate for 3 years, the bad sex from that guy has ricocheted into my future and is still something I have to make sure doesn’t creep in between the sheets with my new partner!

Me and my boyfriend like to get kinky once and a while….. It keeps things interesting. We have recently experimented with gags like the ones used to prevent one from being able to talk …… not like gagging. We have even bought one at the local sex shop.

So the other night we were out at our local watering hole for some drinks. We started talking dirty to each other. He wanted to have sex in the washroom…. I politely declined… I am not that type of girl…. Well actually I am but my ex was

a bartender there and I didn’t exactly want to get busted banging my new bf there.

We get home and things get hot and heavy and loud really quick. He is on top and he gets that look in his eyes… I know what that means…… I tell him to gag me thinking he is going to use the nice comfortable ball gag we bought……. ummm no. He grabbed his sock and tried to put it in my mouth.

Yuuuucckkk, needless to say I stopped things where there were and yelled at him……. he said he was sorry and wasn’t thinking straight…… but really a sweaty sock?

FIGHTING BAD SEX:

Wow!  It always amazes me when people surprise their partners with something new.  You handled the situation well by halting the situation when you were uncomfortable.  Sometimes we just keep going to please or apease our partners.  It is important to remember that consent can be given and taken away at anytime.  Including established relationships with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.  It is your sex life and you choose how, when and with whom you share that with.

In order to avoid something similar like this from happening again it would be worth discussing further with your boyfriend.  Take a little time before you bring it up and do so in a way that does not make him wrong.  Find out the process that he was going through in his mind to come to the decision to grab his sweaty sock.  Did it turn him on?  Did he think you would like it?  Then you can acknowledge that he made a decision that worked for him that didn’t work for you.  Then you have the opportunity to discuss and create what would work for the two of you.

Remember there is no right way, there is no wrong way.  There is just your way.

….. and somewhere out there someone loves having a sweaty sock in their mouth….. just sayin.

So the other night we were out at our local watering hole for some drinks. We started talking dirty to each other. He wanted to have sex in the washroom…. I politely declined… I am not that type of girl…. Well actually I am but my ex was a bartender there and I didn’t exactly want to get busted banging my new bf there.

We get home and things get hot and heavy and loud really quick. He is on top and he gets that look in his eyes… I know what that means…… I tell him to gag me thinking he is going to use the nice comfortable ball gag we bought……. ummm no. He grabbed his sock and tried to put it in my mouth.

Yuuuucckkk, needless to say I stopped things where there were and yelled at him……. he said he was sorry and wasn’t thinking straight…… but really a sweaty sock?

I’ve been married for 16 yrs now !!! Back in the dating days, we really had some great sex !! Experimented with a lot of things…..but as the years go by, the sex gets less and less and less…..so why does this happen? Why does it become boring?

No matter what I’ve suggested, nothing turns him on like it use too……so can anyone explain what happens?

Fighting Bad Sex:

This is a very common occurrence. There can be numerous reasons why this is occurring.

To name a few:

- erectile challenges
- general health concerns
- repressed or unexpressed emotions
- low or declining hormonal output
- side effects from medication
- aging (generally things slow down for men as we age)
- boredom
- no time, no energy
- apathy (not making sex or sexual attractiveness a priority)
- other relationship issues

But only your husband knows the answer. My suggestion would be to create an open and non-judgmental conversation with your husband. Of the many amazing things we can do with our mouths when it comes to sex, talking is the most powerful!  Opening your mouth  could lead to a resolution.  Keeping your mouth closed will certainly lead to no resolution.

Another option is seeing a local sex therapist to work through any issues.

Remember there is no right way, no wrong way.  Just your way and it’s ok!