...And it Sucks!
Bad Sex stories from Women who have sex with Men and Men who have sex with Women
After countless times of giving my ex oral sex he finally mans up and goes down on me. Not only is it obvious that he had no idea what he’s doing, but I can tell he is totally grossed out. I was and am well groomed down there and clean. He had no reason to complain, especially because he did not shave one hair below his neck. What oral sex he did perform on me felt like a dying fish flapping around. He acted like I should be grateful he even tried. I wasn’t and told him to do some research like I had. He said he didn’t need to because oral sex was gross. He then proceeded to ask for a blow job.
After a great night at the bar with friends, my flavor of the month and I headed back to my house. It was on like Donkey Kong. As soon as we stepped foot into the house, our clothes hit the ground. We made our way into my bedroom, strewn clothing in our wake, and get down to business.
It was glorious. He sucked on my breasts, he bit my lips, and he fisted his hands into my long locks all the while he was dominating me. I couldn’t help the loud moans that escaped my mouth; roommates or not. I pulled myself from his grasp and slowly, teasingly, worked my way down his torso until I reached the promise land.
I began sucking on his impressive member. I teased him, reveling in the gasps that escaped his mouth. He told me that he wanted to 69 and who was I to deny a man who wanted to go down on me.
We repositioned ourselves so that I was on top of him. I picked up my sensuous torture from where I left off; all the while he began his careful tongue assault on my core. While I was sucking on his head, I noticed that something was amiss.
He was using his index finger around my asshole.
No big deal. I’m into ass play. But this didn’t feel like your typical play. He was only sticking the tip of his finger in my hole and something just didn’t feel right. He then began wiping his index finger on the insides of my cheeks and then he pushed them together and said, “There. Now you’re stuck.”
I arched up, removed his penis from my mouth and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”
I was in disbelief. Never in all of my years did I ever think that this would have happened. Of all of the sexual mishaps in the world, this was the furthest away from my imagination.
I had gum in my ass.
Literally there was gum in and around my asshole. I got up and spent the better part of 5 minutes clearing the gum from my asshole and butt cheeks with a wash cloth. When I got back to bed, I was still seething. He tried to hug it out, but I was having no part in it. I didn’t even want to lay next to him. I left the room and proceeded to go cool off on the couch for a few hours. I eventually went back.
I have since calmed down and this is now a funny joke amongst our friends and even at our local bar, I am sweetly known as Sticky Buns. But let it be known, the anus is NOT the place to stow your gum during sex!
My girlfriend at the time (now wife) and I were out one night when things started heat up between us. On the way home she thought it would be sexy to give me a hand job while I was driving – of course I was all up for that. A few minutes in her hand stops moving and her grip starts to loosen. I look over and she’s fallen asleep!
There is nothing worse then getting ready to share an intimate space with someone who you feel deeply for in that moment. I say moment, because whether it’s short or long term, that moment for me is full of intimacy. There is nothing worse then being with a partner who is over excited.
Having spent 8 years in a relationship with a man who had a huge d*ick i can honestly say that size is NOT everything. Every time we had sex it was if we were at the race tracks competing to see who could ‘finish’ first. He didn’t know that he was racing, but i spent 8 years mastering my orgasm to happen in 5minutes so that I could make sure and cum before he did. There is nothing worse then having that moment be reduced to a few minutes of rushed enjoyment to ensure a superficial sense of satisfaction.
Eventually it got to the point where i resented even having sex and would tell him to jerk himself off as i was too tired to try and race that night. He was an amazing guy, and the connection, love and intimacy was great. But the sex was just really insufficient and it took me a whole year after leaving him to retrain myself to slow down, take it easy and not try and race my partner to some imaginary finish line. Suffice it to say there was work I had to do even after he was gone to unlearn that! This bad sex didn’t just happen in those moments or for those 8 years, but having only been separate for 3 years, the bad sex from that guy has ricocheted into my future and is still something I have to make sure doesn’t creep in between the sheets with my new partner!
Me and my boyfriend like to get kinky once and a while….. It keeps things interesting. We have recently experimented with gags like the ones used to prevent one from being able to talk …… not like gagging. We have even bought one at the local sex shop.
So the other night we were out at our local watering hole for some drinks. We started talking dirty to each other. He wanted to have sex in the washroom…. I politely declined… I am not that type of girl…. Well actually I am but my ex was a bartender there and I didn’t exactly want to get busted banging my new bf there.
We get home and things get hot and heavy and loud really quick. He is on top and he gets that look in his eyes… I know what that means…… I tell him to gag me thinking he is going to use the nice comfortable ball gag we bought……. ummm no. He grabbed his sock and tried to put it in my mouth.
Yuuuucckkk, needless to say I stopped things where there were and yelled at him……. he said he was sorry and wasn’t thinking straight…… but really a sweaty sock?
I was pretty drunk when things started to get hot and heavy with a guy I had just started having sex with. We were coming home from watching fireworks and could barely keep our clothes on while exchanging niceties with his roommate. Needless to say, as soon as the door was closed, we went at it so luckily I had a skirt on for easier access.
I woke up the next morning with a headache and still fully clothed minus some underwear that I wasn’t exactly sure I was going to find. My memories of the previous night were foggy at best.
Me: Did we have sex last night?
Him: Ummm kind of, we started to but then you started snoring!
If that wasn’t bad enough, I followed that up with: Oh don’t take it personally, it isn’t the first time that has happened!
FML– obviously I am submitting this story on his behalf!
I had been broken up with my long-term bf for a couple of months when he asked me to come over to “pick up some mail”. Well the mail was picked up and THEN the mail man delivered, if you catch my drift.
Afterwards, I was laying on my stomach when he inquired about when I got my tattoo. Hm…tattoo? I thought to myself, but I don’t have any tatt– and it was at that moment that I realised that the guy I had had sex with the previous night had written his name with an arrow pointing to my asshole on my butt cheek as a joke!
Needless to say, no more ex-sex for me after that. Although the other guy got to write his name a few more times ….
So this friend of one of my guy friends would hit on me whenever we all ended up hanging out together, he\’s not the greatest looking guy, but he\’s got a decent body and one night we all got really drunk and I figure, what the hell.
He and I sneak away from the party and end up in his room. He went down on me for like 10min… it was mediocre at best so I decided we should just “get busy” so I roll him onto his back and take his pants off. Not only was he tiny but he was still soft, after five min I finally managed to get him hard enough to have sex only to have him go limp again… (granted there was a lot of alcohol involved) so he pulls out and plays with it till its hard again so we can start back up. This happens about three times. Then, neither of us having gotten off yet he asks to go down on me again saying “well, sex isn’t the only good thing…” I rolled over and told him I was tired. The next morning, he asks me “how great was last night?” How am I supposed to answer that!? I tried to give him a sincere looking smile before bolting. Needless to say I haven’t seen him since…
I was at a buddy’s cottage for the weekend. This place is notorious for sex. Everyone that comes up always hooks up. I have two incidents to share.
First one. My buddy was dating a girl and she brought a friend up to the cottage. She was not bad looking and after a few pints she was stunning. We flirted here and their through out the day but I wasnt running to the bank.
Later in the night we all head down to the fire and had a few more drinks. Everyone ends up taking off to see a group of people that arrived. I instantly start making out with her and take up to the cottage and we got right down to business. She was absolutely fabulous in bed, licked me all over…and the when I was going down on her, without warning, she squirted all over the place. We were on the bottom bunk.
This other girl came up with a friend a few weeks later. I will keep this one short. It was clear she had a boyfriend. Later in the night after a long evening of boozing she went to her room and I went to mine. Suddenly I hear her, with a loud voice, “Are you coming in or what.” The rest is history, we had great sex. The next day her boyfriend joined us at the cottage. He was a real beauty.
Ive been married for 16 yrs now !!! Back in the dating days, we really had some great sex !! Experimented with a lot of things…..but as the years go by, the sex gets less and less and less…..so why does this happen? Why does it become boring?
No matter what I’ve suggested, nothing turns him on like it use too……so can anyone explain what happens?